Progress

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Over the past week, I have noticed a lot of progress in myself.  Not necessarily in my leg, though I hope that is coming along, but more in my general attitude towards this injury.

At first I was really sad, and I will admit I did cry a few times.  I didn’t want to think about not running and I surely didn’t want to talk about it.  Sadnesss turned into madness, and of course jealousy.  I was mad at myself for doing too much too soon, mad at my leg for not letting me run, mad at everything pretty much.  On top of that, I was obviously (and still am) jealous of all the other runners out there running without me.  But then I realized, that I had been one of those other runners to so many people over the last 4+ years.  I was the one always running while others {maybe} watched with an injury.  That isn’t easy and I finally get that being on the other side. 

I had a couple comments that have basically said that since this is my first real injury, it feels like I will never run again, but I will.  I think never having to deal with this before has made it harder to handle and more dramatic than it needs to be.  Obviously injuries just plain suck, but really this isn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things and my world will most definitely not end. 

I am sure the jealousy will be around for a while… I mean how can I not be envious while others are out running in the hills, in the morning, running far, doing the thing I love the most?  But at least I know the other areas are coming along.  I am making plans to keep myself busy.  I am taking advantage of the downtime that I don’t usually have.  I am trying to find some motivation to strength train and doing other forms of exercise.  And most importantly I am resting.  My body obviously needs this rest time, so I am going to do my best to give it to it. 

Hopping on the bike or doing the elliptical sound great in terms of getting a cardio fix, but I know what my leg really needs right now is not to do anything so it can heal.  At this point I am not nervous about losing my running fitness since it’s been over 3 weeks since my race.  Another 3 weeks won’t make or break that.  Plus I know once I do start running again, I will get it back in no time.  Right now I would rather focus on core, strength training and yoga, and the real challenge will be to getting myself to actually do those things. 

I also made the decision to pull out of the one race I was signed up for, She Rocks the Trails 50k in June.  I did consider staying optimistic that I would be able to do the shorter option, a 25k, but I would rather not have myself stressing over a race or tempt myself with it so soon after I get back.  This way I have nothing to worry about, I won’t rush through this injury and I will come back when my leg is ready to come back.

I have been clinging to some friends for pep talks and encouragement, and one friend in particular has been great about helping me through this.  She always has the right thing to say, that is both encouraging but also brings me back down to earth.  She tells me that it’s ok to be sad, that it’s ok to be unmotivated to do other things, that it’s good to just rest, and that I will be back soon, among many other things.  In one of our 10,000 emails from yesterday, I looked back and saw something I wrote and it was at that moment that I knew I was feeling better about it all and making progress.

However much I want to hate it now and I wish I wasn’t in this place, I am certain that it will teach me a lot of great things when it’s time to come back.  Like everything in life, its how you handle and react to what you are given and it’s just another tiny part in my running story – can’t always be predictable! 

It’s all just a little part of the story, and it’s definitely not ending with this little bump in the road.  I think it will just make things a little more interesting.

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19 Responses to Progress

  1. Renee May 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm #

    That’s a lot of progress in one week. I was angry and upset for a long time. I cried too. It’s great you are staying positive and have friends to support you. I’d say you have a great attitude right now.

  2. sarah May 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm #

    yes, it;s a tiny part of your story. And i know that your running adventures will fill many long books!! XOXOXO

  3. Morgan May 3, 2012 at 2:14 pm #

    I agree with Renee, you’ve come a long way in only a week’s time with how to feel about this injury. Being injured for any length of time sucks; I sat out for 9 entire months last year and went through a lot of ups and downs with my feelings. Jealousy is probably the hardest one to deal with, it’s so unbelievably hard to read about other people’s runs sometimes, especially when they are complaining and you want to punch them in the face for not appreciating every little step they get to take while you’re stuck on the sidelines. Making myself spectate and get excited for my friends helped me push through these feelings and doing whatever I could in the gym or at the pool to stay active helped even more. I compare injury to going through a break-up, you have your good days and you have your cry-your-face-off-while-simultaneously-stuffing-it-with-cookies days. There is one good thing that comes from injury though, you are forced to rest, to really focus on what is important to you about running, and when you come back you appreciate it in a way you were never capable of appreciating it before. Keep up that positive attitude and work that core like you never worked it before, both will make your comeback even sweeter. Sending big hugs from the mitten.

  4. Kristine May 3, 2012 at 2:40 pm #

    I love how honest you are! You are going to come back stronger than ever and it will be so, so worth it!

  5. Eric May 3, 2012 at 3:05 pm #

    Very encouraging and inspiring, Aron.

    I really enjoyed reading this and seeing how this injury is actually making you stronger rather than allowing it to make you weaker.

    There are so many obstacles / hurdles in life that will be thrown infront of you. And, it is always an easier route to play the victim role. However, you have chosen to take a stand and are choosing to work with what God, Nature, and/or Society has put infront of you. Let there be obstacles, but never give up on continuing to move forward.

    I can relate to what you are going through in a different part of my life. Obstacles will be everywhere, and it is great to have good friends that can support us through these times when we need that extra encouragement and support to work past them.

    Great job! :)

    Eric

  6. Ali May 3, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Aww aron.. I feel your pain girl! I too am in the same boat. I’m having to pull out of 2 trail races including the 25k She Rocks The trail due to my achy knees and VMO muscle. Totally sucks… Im still running (super short runs) cause I cant bare to hear the words “no running. Tho after reading your blogs.. You’ve almost convinced me to go see an ART person. You lady, are stronger than me! Look at it this way… Your already on your way back to running :)

  7. Lisa May 3, 2012 at 6:15 pm #

    I love, “It’s all just a little part of the story, and it’s definitely not ending with this little bump in the road. I think it will just make things a little more interesting.” That statement tells me your head’s in the right place. It’s a temporary state for sure! Happy healing :)

  8. Kristen May 3, 2012 at 6:47 pm #

    I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling at least a little better about it. Definitely just a bump in a very long road :)

  9. Susan - Nurse on the Run May 3, 2012 at 8:40 pm #

    I’ve been battling injury for about three months (currently without any idea of when the end will be…), and I know what you’re talking about. I’ve cried many times…today I wanted to throw my running shoes out the window. It’s so frustrating, especially when you hear about other people running and you just want to be out there too. Everyone says, “You’ll get better and come back stronger!” which is hard to believe now but at some point it will be true. Rest up!

  10. Vava May 4, 2012 at 6:49 am #

    Hang in there! You will be back out there running better than ever soon enough. Remember that you are running for the long term so don’t risk that with getting out there too soon, too fast. You are doing all the right things, finding other outlets for your exercise fix and such, just keep that positive attitude that gets you through the toughest of tough runs going. It will be fine. And this is coming from someone who’s been unable to run for the better part of a frickin YEAR due to injury. Let that knee heal, and once there’s not pain let it heal some more before getting out there. You’ll be better off for it in the long run (no pun intended)!

  11. Nelly May 4, 2012 at 9:58 am #

    I’d say there are various stages that seem to happen when you get injured – 1st one is disbelief and being pissed off that you are injured. 2nd one is grief – you can’t believe that you got injured and want to get back as soon as possible. 3rd one is acceptance, because generally you can’t get back as soon as you want to, so you start to get used to being injured and it becomes your life. My main advice is to forget about the calendar and races and just try to get your body healthy. Looking at the calendar and counting days doesn’t help. There will definitely be some days that you lose it mentally, but just try to keep going and doing something. I’ll also say that being injured makes it harder for me to read other people’s blogs, because I want to be out running races but can’t – it is hard. Good luck and hopefully you are back out there soon.

  12. Joanne May 4, 2012 at 11:52 am #

    You’ll get over this. There has been so many runners who have had to take considerable time off running due to injury but they always seem to come back stronger and faster. Maybe that time off gets everything back into alignment and allows us to get a new start. So look forward to a new start and coming back stronger and better. :)

  13. Kamaile May 5, 2012 at 10:06 am #

    It IS a very small part of the story. Taking the time your leg needs to heal now will get you back out to the trails. The best part is YOU get to fall in LOVE with running all over again! :-)

  14. katie May 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm #

    just sending love your way. i’ve been there, and it sucks. HUGS.

  15. Dominique @ FreeToBeAthlete May 8, 2012 at 5:50 am #

    I have been silently reading your blog since just before your 50-miler, and I am so sorry you are going through this injury. I know nothing will fix it until you feel back to normal, but I want you to know that your story has inspired me. I appreciate your honesty and your openness. I completed a Half Ironman this past weekend, and your post on enjoying the moment and racing with joy reminded me to keep my head up and relish the moment. Sending good thoughts your way!

  16. Ricole Runs May 8, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

    I love your positive attitude! And it’s true, you WILL come out the other side better than ever, having learned so many lessons to apply in the future. I’m thinking healthy thoughts!

  17. Travel Spot May 11, 2012 at 9:57 am #

    I am sorry about your leg, but it will get better soon and you will be back in no time! It sucks that you had to bow out of the race, but it will be better in the long run!

  18. Amanda @ RunToTheFinish May 12, 2012 at 8:54 am #

    i actually think we talked about this last time we ran! how lucky you were not to have had an injury and be sidelined. I don’t htink it has to happen to us all at some point, that’s hogwash, but i do think that it gives us a totally new and different appreciation for running

    sending speedy recovery vibes your way

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