Yesterday was the Portland Marathon.
Yah that one.
As I sat on the couch yesterday morning tracking my friends online, I told Chris "I am supposed to be running a marathon right now." But I wasn’t, not at all.
Today I had a friend ask me how I felt about it. If I was sad I wasn’t there or if I was jealous or felt like I missed out? Honestly I didn’t really feel much at all towards the day. Mostly it felt like any other Sunday, but I know I felt a few things.
I was sad I wasn’t in Portland hanging out with my friend Jen.
I wasn’t jealous at all of all the people who were out there running.
I was actually happy and relieved I wasn’t one of them running a marathon yesterday.
Most of all, I was glad the “DNS day” was behind me.
So I guess that means I made the right choice.
I used to always be jealous on big race days that I wasn’t running too, but I wasn’t at all yesterday and that’s totally fine. I know when I get that envious feeling back again, then it will be time to train hard for another marathon.
With marathon training, you have to have that want and the fire to make big things happen, and this fall I didn’t have that in me. I am so glad I recognized it sooner rather than later, because I am loving my running life right now and know that spark for something big will be found very soon. I have found the spark for the little things lately and that’s just as important too.
In the meantime, I am glad I don’t have think about 10/9 when I get asked if I have anything big coming up because as much as I know it was the right choice, it does still sting a little to know I didn’t follow through. But now it’s over, passed and done and time to move on.
But don’t worry Portland, you are still very high on my to do list and I will cross that finish line one of these years.
Congrats to all the amazing runners yesterday who completed one of the many races that took place yesterday! There were some amazing stories that took place on the roads yesterday and I can’t wait to read about them all. I hope you are all basking in the post race glow and
drinking a lot of beer doing a lot of celebrating!
Have you ever DNS’ed a big race?