2011 has definitely been a pretty epic year so far for me.
I ran Boston, I ran Big Sur, and I ran SFM all while devoting myself to more extracurricular activities than I could have imagined when the year started. All this on top of Chris starting a new career and me finding a new job.
It’s been busy, it’s been stressful, it’s been so fun, it’s been so extremely rewarding.
But I can’t do everything. Something has to give.
My training has definitely suffered this year. I haven’t had the same training spark since Boston training and I haven’t been able to really get in my groove. I should have recognized this earlier on, but I was caught up in the moments of everything, am stubborn, and got sucked into marathons and training and running and everything that comes along with it. I know there is a reason to take breaks after marathons and I know there is a reason I like to train hard specifically for one race.
I don’t want to run another marathon without a good training cycle to back it. I don’t want to push myself through training when I can’t commit what I want to commit to it. I want to run a marathon well and I want to train well. Being less than 5 weeks away from one and feeling like I am scrambling is not the recipe for a good marathon in my book.
After a lot of thought, a lot of back and forth, and a lot of just running to find my answer, I decided I am not going to run the Portland Marathon this year. I am not going to run a fall marathon at all this year.
I am burned out. I need to run without a training schedule because even when I say I am going to do that, I don’t. Training plans are permanently engraved into my brain. I need to get through another busy month without stressing about how to fit in a 20 miler and 60 miles of running a week. I just need a break.
Don’t worry, I am still going to be running. I will probably be running a lot too. I want to run trails, I want to run for fun, I want to go out and run solely for the reason that I just want to go. I also want to ride my bike and do TRX and take spin classes and do things I never do because I am habitually “in marathon training.”
This decision was not easy and I am still a little bit sad. I feel like I am letting myself down and just letting other people down. But I have seen so many friends push through cycles that they weren’t invested in and always thought why? Why do something when you don’t want to do it? No one is making you do it. So I took a little piece of my own advice and I feel better about it.
I love to run and I love to train for marathons, but not if I am going to half ass it. I will be back when I am ready and recharged, but until then I will be out running having a whole lot of fun while reigniting that marathon training spark for some time down the road.